Keepy Uppy - Bawdy

It seems I had a slim chance of a podium position
In the viagra eating contest I faced such stiff competition
If I don’t get at least a third, a medal I’ll be missing
And that’s a shame because it isn’t cheeks that they’ll be kissing

Perhaps I’ve been blacklisted since the time I won first place
I got my medal but then I was sent home in disgrace 
When the mayoress knelt and hung a medal on my little guy
That last viagra kicked in and I poked her in the eye

I left so quickly that I had to go home in my shorts
I got some knowing looks but I couldn’t read their thoughts
A few young ladies seemed to think that I was rather hot
They looked at me then at sky and all they said was ‘What?’
Copyright © | Year Posted 2021

Poem

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Laurie Avatar
August 9, 2021 at 9:34 PM
Hello Terry ... how you think of these outlandish topics amazes me. I know pie eating and chili eating comps are common, but a viagra one; God help us, although slipping a couple of tablets into a vicar's biscuit before his sermon might lift the church roof - thank you Terry - Lindsay
Flood Avatar
August 10, 2021 at 7:08 AM
Hi, Lindsay. Great to hear from you, guess time or muse been in short supply. Looking forward to your next sock-on-the-jaw punchline. Terry
Cunningham Avatar
July 21, 2021 at 1:41 PM
On the positive side you wont fall out of bed lol. Tom
Flood Avatar
July 21, 2021 at 3:04 PM
Ah, they don’t write em like that no more, Tom. Terry
Leffanta Avatar
July 21, 2021 at 11:31 AM
One presumes the medal was not the only thing hanging . . . .
Flood Avatar
July 21, 2021 at 12:24 PM
Ahem... the medal was hanging on, erm... let’s just call it a handy hook, Rico. Terry
Allison Avatar
July 20, 2021 at 2:57 PM
ha ha ha bawdy brilliance lol:-) thanks for the giggle:-) hugs jan xx
Flood Avatar
July 20, 2021 at 3:27 PM
Thanks, Jan. This started out as a monoku, became a couplet and kept on going. Glad you enjoyed. Terry
Hankins Avatar
July 20, 2021 at 2:47 PM
Sounds like a familiar story to me, Terry. I loved the "stiff" competition. I suppose the judging took place in the morning right upon awakening???
Flood Avatar
July 20, 2021 at 3:32 PM
Ah! The old waking up in a tent syndrome. I wasn’t sure if verse three was a little obscure in its suggestion and nearly stopped after verse two. Anyhow, glad you liked (?) Terry
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