Keep Your Obnoxious Baby To Yourself
Keep Your Obnoxious Baby to Yourself
By Elton Camp
You may think the world revolves around your brat
But I don’t agree and think it looks like a sick rat
From every body opening, disgusting fluids it spews
Close contact with something like that I don’t choose
How can you expect an inordinate amount of praise
For a creature that’s red and has a cross-eyed gaze
Every few minutes it will either defecate or urinate
How could such an odious entity fail, others to irritate
A big part of the time it spends entirely sound asleep
Awake, there’s screaming & crying from the little creep
And then you have the incredible nerve to be so bold
To suggest that your baby I might somehow like to hold
That’s an honor that I most certainly will decline to take
Why, I had far rather pick up and hold some rattlesnake
Babies and dogs are two things for which I have a dislike
Given a choice, I’d prefer holding Fido over your little tyke
(Just kidding—mostly)
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