Keep It In the Family

KEEP IT IN THE FAMILY Three pigs and mummy pigette so pretty There was peace in pork city - It was all fine until she re-married some grunter Some boar from the village, a hunter, Drunken tough guy with one tusk, Lurching about from dawn to dusk: The kids suddenly became step piglets, No longer mum’s wee starlets, And all of a sudden the trough For everybody wasn’t big enough. And it was pigball on tv Saturday afternoons Instead of the other channel’s pigtoons; No washing in the mudpond your piggy face His huge hams took up all the space; The kids were soon achin’ To turn him into bacon; They didn’t want to endure him in their cottage - Simply to cure him into sausage, To see a shining fork Filled with step-dad pork. So they asked a wolf so big and bad To come one day and eat the step-dad. But the pigs would soon regret this move As the huff-and-puff episode would clearly prove: Wolfie now had a taste for pigmeat, And considered it a special meal treat. So unless you have no alternatives Never ask a wolf to eat your relatives.