Kaleidoscope of Madness

A kaleidoscope of madness Keeps spinning in my mind The good, the bad, the in between Forever inter-twined Lost inside my decisions Where did I let it go wrong I find myself spinning But find clarity in my song I get high to take away the pain And forget how I got here I get drunk to stop the tremors And dull all that I fear Numbness is a virtue That's what I believe Taking steps away from God And closer to what I can drink Walking on a tight rope Above a crowd of fools A broken bottle to my throat This balancing act I perform for the crowd will be sold out soon If I fall that's entertaining But survival's entertainment too If I cut my throat mid-air for their pleasure Do I win? Or do they lose?