Just Something I'M Thinking About

I have been to places people only dream of. A bright place, a beautiful place, an open place. A place that I felt was meant for me. I have seen sights that most people never see. Light, and Love, and life full of meaning. A sight that showed me that I had meaning. When you go to such places, and you see such wonderous things, they do leave their mark. They become all that you can be. They fill you, sustain you, are your bread and water. Those places, those sights, are all you'll ever need. Those places, those sights, are all you ever want to be. Well, yes I have been there, and yes I have seen it, but that's not all I have seen. I have watched that place be torn from me. Forcefully, horribely, my life lost all meaning. There was little left of me, with all those places burned and broken, the ground itself bleeding. There wasnt even will enough for keening. I have known pain. It is a black place that makes what should be your heart the most efficient method of torture that's almost beyond human comphrension. A black thing, a terrible thing, and you claw at your chest with all the strength you posses because, nothing could ever hurt as much as what's inside you, making your whole body scream. A person can bleed when there is no wound. A person can scream in agony when they feel nothing. A person can be alive without living at all. I am a girl who has seen many things, and I've been to places that people only dream. At ninteen years old, I am on old woman. Burden, wearied, and in some ways broken. So tired of the world, too tired for words. I just want to rest, to take a break from this world. But, I also am blessed, for the people I have. Mason, and Steven, and so many more of them. I am loved, and loved deeply, and I love deeply too. They bring back that beauty, they bring back all meaning. This world is filled with beautiful things, just as it's filled horrible things. But, with all that I have seen, there is still more to see. And despite all I've been through...I look forward to the life that's ahead of me. ^_^