Just Somethin I Wrote

They tell me i'm crazy because i choose to sleep in my car, quickly they add up how much money i should be making. to that i can only reply, in order to achieve the goals i want to reach i must endure a little suffering now. i call myself crazy cause i wish to write to and about you passionately. to that i can only say i hardly know you. this is not a poem and i tried not to write in any rhythmic pattern. just thoughts that need releasing, thoughts i've long tried to ignore. i try to be happy but its hard when it seems so much is going so wrong. six weeks ago i totaled my ride; my folks tell me God was looking out for me. that’s kinda hard for me to believe when there are so many more that not only need him/her but want him/her to be a presence in their lives. i work day in and day out but i cant show you anything worth while. voices tell me i'm an emt i should be happy saving lives, but they don’t see the hell i see. the voices love me, i can tell they do, it's in the messages they give to me. they talk of things i need to be doing, and refuse to hear the things i want to be doing. voices are all i have to tell who's who, you see their faces have long since faded in order to release all emotional attachment. i hope you stayed with me this far, because i'm talking about happiness. some day is too far away to wait and tomorrow is too soon to obtain all i have set for self. i think i'll choose to find happiness now writing, more so writing with you in mind. from this i hope questions will arise, questions that will be asked and answers demanded. my thoughts don’t stop coming though i wish they would.