Jaded
Every time I take a look in the mirror
my reflection comes back jaded;
my features distorted to the point
that I can barely recognize myself.
My hair is disheveled, like my thoughts
unable to be tamed and going out of control.
My eyes are no longer lit with fire and zeal
but contain a dull flame just waiting to burn out.
My nose no longer smells the scent of wondrous fragrances
but is overwhelmed by the stench of death and deception
which permeate the air around me.
My lips are dry like the words that die on my tongue,
thoughts unspoken but desperately needing to be expressed.
My heart is no longer whole, beating for others
but is fragmented, struggling in vain to put itself back together
without all the pieces.
My belly is no longer jittery with the excitement of new love
but is tight, nauseated from the strain of dealing with lies and betrayal.
My legs are no longer powerful enough to run to the aid of those in need
but are losing their ability to carry my own personal load plus the burdens of others,
which through my own fault I attempted to carry.
As I continue to look in the mirror,
one solitary tear glides down my face…
not a tear of joy and hope
but of frustration,
knowing that like my reflection,
I am jaded
and will be until I have
faded
from this existence.
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