Jaded

Every time I take a look in the mirror 
my reflection comes back jaded;
my features distorted to the point 
that I can barely recognize myself.

My hair is disheveled, like my thoughts
unable to be tamed and going out of control.

My eyes are no longer lit with fire and zeal 
but contain a dull flame just waiting to burn out.

My nose no longer smells the scent of wondrous fragrances
but is overwhelmed by the stench of death and deception 
which permeate the air around me.

My lips are dry like the words that die on my tongue,
thoughts unspoken but desperately needing to be expressed.

My heart is no longer whole, beating for others 
but is fragmented, struggling in vain to put itself back together 
without all the pieces.

My belly is no longer jittery with the excitement of new love
but is tight, nauseated from the strain of dealing with lies and betrayal.

My legs are no longer powerful enough to run to the aid of those in need
but are losing their ability to carry my own personal load plus the burdens of others, 
which through my own fault I attempted to carry.

As I continue to look in the mirror, 
one solitary tear glides down my face…
not a tear of joy and hope 
but of frustration, 
knowing that like my reflection, 
I am jaded 
and will be until I have 
faded 
from this existence.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2008

Poem

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A  Avatar
June 30, 2010 at 9:36 AM
THIS IS POWERFUL AND AWESOME.-SKAT
Gorelick Avatar
December 27, 2008 at 1:58 PM
Beautiful writing..sounds like life has been rough. I can identify with much of your poem..I hope writing about it helps you...BG
Reeves Avatar
December 27, 2008 at 11:59 AM
Beautiful... So many of us feel this exact way but, most never speak of it.
Schermerhorn Avatar
December 27, 2008 at 11:36 AM
this is a truely touching write from begining to end while it is beautifully written it is so filled with such extreme pain and it is felt throughout however I want to say that if this is what you are experiencing on a whole if you feel jaded you need to dig a little deeper and realize that this is written from your heart which is in pain for whatever reason and only a heart can see the pain you are in and be able to write about it so well, you are putting back all the pieces it just takes time
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