It's All Dirt To Me

It seems to me there are two types of people in the world…at least as far as I can see…there are those people who drink coffee…then there’s people who don’t…like Deborah and me. When we mention to our friends we don’t drink coffee…they act like we have fleas…treating us as if we’e serial killers…or have some strange disease. “You don’t drink coffee.” They shake their heads…oh they’re polite to us…but then…once the meals finished…we’re never asked back again. What is it with you coffee drinkers and your love of the coffee bean? Why do you put up with the absence of flavor…just to soak up some caffeine? Oh, you’ll add some sugar, milk or cream…to get the flavor that you seek…but then your cup of coffee has enough calories for a week! Some of you drink de-caf…you like the coffee flavor but think caffein’s too strong…well let me state now…for the record…I’m sorry…that’s just wrong. Some of you love Starbucks…pardon me here for being curt…but why pay one weeks salary for a drink that’s just sweet dirt. Our friends say there are many ways to drink coffee…they say…come on and try a swig…we say you can dress a pig in an evening gown…but in the end…it’s still a pig. We’ll never stop you from drinking your coffee…never ask your intake to decrease…but…please…don’t make us drink that stuff…let us live our life in peace. And stop acting like it’s Deborah and I who are crazy…like were’e the ones afflicted…when it’s quite obvious by your behavior that it is you who are addicted. One day we hope you’ll finish your 12 step program and your teeth will be stain free…then…when you have friends over for dinner…don’t forget to invite Deborah and me. Until that day when there’s finally no more sign of caffeine in you blood…think about this…why is that stuff you drink…is also known as mud? DISCLAIMER: DEAR COFFEE DRINKERS: Although Jim has a right to his opinion…his views we will not defend…for we believe without coffee and coffee drinkers…the world as we know it…would end. So please don’t listen to his rantings…keep drinking your coffee…never feel blue… and we apologize for any discomfort his poem may have cause in you. Your friends at Starbucks.