Isolated In Pain
I have lost all distinction between day and night
A constant absence of darkness is provided by fluorescent light
No windows available to the outside world
Living in isolation sans any modern day thrills
Four bare walls, no bars, food slipped through a slot in the door
Eating with my fingers because no telling what I would use utensils for
I still taste the blood from the ear I bit off of that inmate
I had to get out of general population no matter what it would take
Regardless of what the prosecution claims
Regardless of whom the newspaper’s headlines blame
Regardless of what the forensics might suggest
Regardless of what the jury thinks they know best
I did not kill my wife
I did not take away her life
The wound on my head that paralyzed my body
But allowed consciousness to remain and watch the act
Was not self-inflicted
As presented as fact
There is no demon inside me who carried out this deed
There is no psychosis brewing resulting in a murderous need
A monster, it is true, is required to make such a mess
But that monster was not me and I did not confess
I was covered in her blood because I held her in my lap
And gave her one last kiss good-bye
There was no emotion in my voice on the 911 call
Because with the lifeless body I held – all my emotions did die
Actually, I am better off now, in this isolated state
Where I am away from the public scrutiny and disdain
I have no reason to want to continue to live
I just know in the future someone else soon – will realize my pain
The monster is still out there
And he will strike again
The look in his eyes showed too much joy
But no one cares to believe in me
It is easier this way
Until his modus operandi once again is employed
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