James Howerton Poet Free verse

Is this feeling an illusion

Is this feeling an illusion,
something my mind conjured up
in its confusion,
because
I've longed for so long
to feel love's inclusion
in my life.
Have I developed
a sweet melody with
the strings of my heart
and mistakenly called it 'love'?
For so long,
I've longed to know
an undying love,
a comforting love,
an overpowering love
to live in the very depths
of my soul.
I wonder had my desperation
overtaken what's left of my sanity?

Is this feeling an illusion,
something my mind conjured up
in its confusion,
because my heart 
has been longing for the fusion
of harmony and serenity?
I've waited for an eternity 
to find someone to love.
But in my desperation
have I created an illusion,
an unreality,
a vision that only exists
in my mind,
and I call it 'love'?
To share an unconditional love,
an imperfect,
yet perfect love for me
is all I ever wanted.
But has my exasperation
overtaken 
what's left of my sanity,
and now I'll settle for anything,
even if it's an illusion?
.

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