Is That Love

i read my bible yesterday and i came across something about love it was a new thing to learn so sad,i put my bible down why?because God said something what was it you know,forgive people put me through a lot that i find it hard to forget and carry on how can i love if i've never been loved it's so intricate to love many and be loved by none my little cousin is trying to emulate my lifestyle is that love,or just a game? trying to take what i have? my big brother says he set me up because he loves me Lord please understand i've never felt love,my past is who i am do not judge me unrighteously my love Jehovah you are all that i have the only one who can understand