Irregular and Irritating

I am that T-shirt, that gives you sore spots on the entrance to the armpits I am that cap, that leaves a red ring just below the hair line I am that wool coat, that itches your neck as you walk along I am that Chinese meal, that had you bounding to the bog I am that out of date fruit, that has more meat than fruit I am that carton of old orange juice, that has more alcohol than bourbon I am that wad of chewing gum, ruining your favourite trainers I am that large puddle, on the side of the road you are walking past I am that misty afternoon, that clouds the good weather up above I am that bulb in your hall, that has just gone out leaving blackness I am that misplaced spring, that digs into your back nightly I am that cold spurt of water, in the middle of your morning shower He says: I am a favourite slogan bearer that catches the observers eye He says: I am that covering that reminds somebody of a better day He says: I am a winters shade from icy cold that keeps another warm He says: I am the food that hits the spot filling the empty stomach He says: I am a nutritious snack to all who listen to my words He says: I am a drink for good times and a tonic for the bad He says: I am that last piece used to best that perfect kiss He says: I am a deep well of His wisdom and a lake for His love He says: I am shield that hides the vulnerable from the glaring heat He says: I am an ornate candle that may flicker but doesn't fail He says: I am a place of rest and peace for those I hold dearest He says: I am that cold splash that awakens and refreshes