internal voice
the voice spoke quietly from an inner sanctum
he had out-sourced for what seemed an eternity
muffled at first and barely audible it challenged
his deluded mischievous sense of corrupted reality
seeking external validation had been his forte
and strong he had been in following the decree
of a chorus of directives forged by friends foes
family norms critique advice and society at large
there had been great advantage of this contract hire
of thought opinions emotions feelings and behaviours
for if when things turned into cacophonic disasters
he never had to take responsibility for himself
when matters went well he sheepishly concluded
to praise himself for was it not him who had complied
on the other hand he would always blame someone else
for the wreckage and carnage his actions had caused
on rare occasions when he did not act as a people pleaser
communication had ended in arguments and confrontation
but even then he became convinced he had not caused or
initiated any trouble but rather defended some truth or another
only when his conduct and unacceptable interactions
showed him rock bottom ready to jump from the abyss
was he able to hear sotto voce he didn’t have to live like this
and the volume of such epiphany has grown ever since
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