internal voice

the voice spoke quietly from an inner sanctum he had out-sourced for what seemed an eternity muffled at first and barely audible it challenged his deluded mischievous sense of corrupted reality seeking external validation had been his forte and strong he had been in following the decree of a chorus of directives forged by friends foes family norms critique advice and society at large there had been great advantage of this contract hire of thought opinions emotions feelings and behaviours for if when things turned into cacophonic disasters he never had to take responsibility for himself when matters went well he sheepishly concluded to praise himself for was it not him who had complied on the other hand he would always blame someone else for the wreckage and carnage his actions had caused on rare occasions when he did not act as a people pleaser communication had ended in arguments and confrontation but even then he became convinced he had not caused or initiated any trouble but rather defended some truth or another only when his conduct and unacceptable interactions showed him rock bottom ready to jump from the abyss was he able to hear sotto voce he didn’t have to live like this and the volume of such epiphany has grown ever since