Intellspeak

We used to listen to the Radio Five minutes News on the hour Middle of the road voices Not too light or too dour. Now we have twenty four hour TV With accompanying twenty four news And a specialist breed of expert on call To discuss, give opinions and air views. I think they come from distant lands With an exotic language they speak, Suited for every single situation No matter how apparently bleak. It’s full of special phrases, Full of jargon too, And they’ll never use one word If there’s a chance of using two. I think they’re hired for the intellectual, Not a working class peasant like me, Minimum intellectual standard seems An upper second Oxbridge degree. They all seem to know each other, Seem to come in groups of four, And unless they’re controlled All can talk for evermore. I’m sure they could spout All the day long Secure in the certitude They’re never ever wrong. Please, could we have some experts The common herd can understand, Not these self certified speakers From their Intellectually elitist land. And, it would be more than helpful if, For even just one day each week, They would pay heed to the general And use a language we all speak. But, there’s a special terminology All those experts use When they’re waxing forth eloquent On TwentyFour Hour TV News.