Inspired by Les Distractions de Dagobert by Leonora Carrington
I burnt to death
a thousand times
whilst I was consumed by smoke
you took my breath
two faces painted
upon your palms
I raise my hand
to report this harm
so calm I sit
amidst the flames
analysing if I'm to blame
it takes my time
distracts my thoughts
tiny raindrops of comfort sought
but rain brings clouds
shadowed days
no exit despite a myriad of ways
I'll rest in bed
perhaps grow roots
my carcassed lungs
the smoke still pollutes
a single thread holds me aloft
no fall for me will be soft
pillars and spikes
of stone and smoke
speared or just left to choke
a thousand worlds I'll never see
none shaped just right to inhabit me
too much attached
to brain or limb
all waters unsafe for me to swim
counsel all look separate ways
can't consolidate who leaves or stays
micro exits in my head
escape temporarily
from overbearing dread
I fear I'm too scared to exist
that I'll swap smoke for inhaled mist
capture life and drag it in
successful catch
but life doesn't begin
all paintings have an edge
where it will end
but beyond may be all pretend
or perhaps where days are painted fresh
and I am more and never less
and colours chosen
rather than set
and not alone
but rather met
and I can say which boat I'll sail
and there is no logical way to fail
and the sky is mine to stare right at
and it will not fall, judge
or want anything back
and I'll paint freely
with no pencil line
in a life
that is truly mine.
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