Inner Turmoil

Quite disdainful I due regret to be punished within one's own mind, The silence of the screaming, The happiness its loathing, Each one hitting you at the same time. And i cant quite believe how i ordinary i can seem, When im dying on the inside. I used to let such things escape me, Now i find them bottled without any try, Without any need. And still theres no warning that I can heed before I consequentally fall in love, Those wide blue eyes attracting me. I wont let this be can you not see, I dont want this in my life. No not now, nor ever will I bow down to that knife. This inner rage, anxiety, This floating little microscopic me...screaming, Crying, living, dying, breathing, waiting for me....to be.. To want....to make....me....-screams-