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Influenced By Basil Fawlty

I was influenced by Basil Fawlty
that sarcastic humour really caught me
inappropriate rude crude and naughty 
humour against stress which haunts me 

I'm the sort some assume a dim bulb 
even the spoons make a sharper knife 
impulsive projections cause eyes to roll 
a daily custom always part of my life 

and yet people fail to see the sea
over there between the land and the sky 
for the Wildebeest sweeping majestically 
as though impulse is a thoughts finish line 

I know nothing about the horse 
a witnit flying pig in the water tank 
thoughts follow impulse of course 
my brain is working you Fawlty blank 

That wasn't the fire alarm 
yet it causes you to get gobby 
you're Major with a firearm 
shooting starlings in the lobby

So who wins these bloody mind games anyway 
wound up telling me stop talking about the war 
which they started when Poland saw an invade
"is this a piece of your brain?" as i pick dust up off the floor 

A false sense which makes them hopeful 
becomes a trip to see India at the Oval 
they don't see the rat in me called Basil 
biscuits cheese and a Lord Mulberry puzzle 

I'm a good lad 
a Waldorf Salad 
the chef's gone home 
rooms without baggage 

if you can't hear me turn it on 
blind with glasses on your head 
you put my door in a load baring wall 
"Hello Major" the Moose once said 

i sit there for years doing nothing 
when i actually need it for flames you place
and i have to use my brain and think 
the bloody think will explode in your face

I know how to address stupid
even if i often appear confused 
my small back road is your M1 
and with quick wit I've won.

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