Notes About The Poem

 

 

for the Sonnet-Ku-Ku Poetry Contest of Charles Messina

____________________________________________________________________

In Vacant Time-SHM

Beyond a small stream’s margin lay we two
beneath a giant oak which spread sweet shade.
We barely knew what next we ought to do
there, pleasure-sated from the love we’d made
within deep foilage like a carpet lush.
The grass, which from the bank seemed to unroll
with wealth of buttercups and trim of brush
continued past us, up a gentle knoll.
Wrapped in one another’s arms, we pondered
how the rill, once sprightly, now seemed subdued,
and how it once had rippled as it wandered
toward this sheltered spot of solitude.
Our brook, which kissed each boulder on its way,
in vacant time – with us – now sparkling lay.

(a haiku and a monoku formed from using the bolded words in this sonnet)

grass seemed to unroll
beyond a small stream’s margin . . .
wealth of buttercups

our sprightly brook - which had kissed each boulder on its way - now sparklng lay
Copyright © | Year Posted 2023

Poem

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One Avatar
January 6, 2024 at 2:48 PM
You did the three forms well.. Congratulations on your placement in the contest..
Messina Avatar
January 2, 2024 at 7:40 AM
Oops! Andrea, a lovely poem. Unfortunately, " and how it once had rippled as it wandered" had one too many syllables. Sorry... Happy New Year, dear friend.
Maverick Avatar
December 2, 2023 at 10:27 AM
This is a standing out write Andrea..I thought Thats a change from putting outstanding Anyway..' As always. Every time regurlarly, you Put a lot in..I specially liked the 'pounding line' That adds a muskyness to it..' You know like The site that billionare owns..Whats his name? Oh yes Elon, of the long paycheuqe..You may Notice a free'er note to my lines I've been getting some input from that guy who acted in the 'Whistlers mother film.?? With Ben Stiller? Set in a museum?? Anyway do let me know
Dietrich Avatar
December 2, 2023 at 2:16 PM
Thanks for your words.i do know the movie you are talking about. It had a part two I think also.
Maverick Avatar
December 2, 2023 at 10:30 AM
Of the imorovements i'm sure will be garnered.' As a matter of fact I shall make you known To him.' And he can work the Same results with you. too.!
Hind Avatar
December 1, 2023 at 8:54 PM
This was truly beautiful, Andrea!! It had magic.
Narain Avatar
December 1, 2023 at 10:03 AM
Nice one. Enjoyed sonnet, haiku and monoku,
Bayles Avatar
December 1, 2023 at 9:17 AM
Wow, you got a lot out of the words you used. A very creative use of form, and great rhyme.
Rolland Avatar
November 30, 2023 at 11:03 PM
brilliant sonnet, poet, full of delicacy and sentiments towards nature, priceless fo me enjoyed very much, have a sweet day
Empress Avatar
November 30, 2023 at 8:33 PM
Your sonnet is beautiful, and i love the haiku and monoku you’ve created with it.do we need to use exact words from sonnet or can be just related to sonnet? I absolutely love your haiku “ wealth of buttercups” and also the monoku is deep, i started doing this and forgot about it. Cus i always feel like my sonnets arent the best lol maybe i should do it just for fun. This should score high. Goodluck andrea
Dietrich Avatar
December 1, 2023 at 7:08 PM
Awesome, Ink.
Empress Avatar
November 30, 2023 at 10:55 PM
You actually did yours correctly. I just checked the rules. Thanks to you i know now. Ill try with an old sonnet too. Sending you light always
Dietrich Avatar
November 30, 2023 at 10:31 PM
Thanks, Ink. I wrote mostly sonnets, so I found one from many years ago , one that had words I could use to make decent haiku and monoku. I hope it was ok to use separate words inside the sonnet and add them to the phrases. Good luck if you try this.
Goldsmith Avatar
November 30, 2023 at 6:50 PM
A wonderful write. Good Luck... Have a blessed day.................
Horn Avatar
November 30, 2023 at 2:09 PM
forgot about you and your trip to Idaho may do it again many in my mind Poems are always fun to write have great time doing
One Avatar
November 30, 2023 at 1:38 PM
You did this really well, I have not really read this contest, but I should give it a try.. your poem flows and rhymes really well, despite the restriction of having to use certain terms.. good luck in the contest.
Dietrich Avatar
November 30, 2023 at 8:19 PM
The poem is an old sonnet of mine. The haiku and monoku had to use words from inside my poem. I found it to be a fun challenge
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