In My Head
Empty pill bottles laying next to bottles of vodka, these are the images depression puts in my head
Instead of doing what depression shows me, I write with the pen instead
Living a nightmare, I haven't been to bed
Trying to smile for the world and ignore the images depression puts in my head
Raised in care, I never had a hug when I was growing up
But i had depression tell me i need to stop eating, and start throwing up
"Lose weight" "don't be fat" was what depression whispered into my ear
I ate 2-3 times a week, depression stayed, while people disappeared
I thought depression was a friend, so I picked up a razor
It whispered in my ear for me to cut as it would do him a favour
I did it with eyes closed, and a little hesitation
I was mentally Ill and self harm became my medication
Long sleeve jumpers became my comfort blanket
They hid my scars, so the world couldn't see the damage
But my bipolar ways would lead me to act reckless
Depression left from time to the, but I always knew it would return with its track record
I could smile, but not for long
Made to feel weak, but I guess I was strong
I made it past times, I thought I couldn't go on
I made a lot of mistakes, but i'm still here so I didn't get it all wrong
Nearly 5 years clean from self harming with the blade
I'm still a little lost, but i'm comfortable in the maze
Depression still puts a lot of horrible images in my head
Instead of self harming, I now write with the pen instead
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