Impenetrable Wall

I know this is temporary But it doesn’t ease the pain, Faking who I am for now Pushing those feelings down again. The repercussions of doing this Already fills my head with doubt, Forcing myself to be present When I just want to sit this one out. I can’t pre-empt the future But if I’m just going from my past, My world will crash all over again And I’ll be feeling like an outcast. If I’ve had the strength to fake this Why can’t I do this everyday? I know I possibly could but It’s exhausting in every possible way. This disconnecting feeling Is making my world feel quite small, Friends and family become strangers As I build up this impenetrable wall.