I'M Sorry For Being So Cold
My words may feel so cold,
Yet this feeling of falling and then trying to be so loving
Eventually misleads me to feeling like she or myself
Is gradually shoving my feelings through an invisible door.
It’s all so not worth letting this sorrow corner me in,
My mind is wondering if I’m truly fine with
Having no one special in my own current life.
My reasons for trying to move onwards from there
Were nothing but idealized dreams
Turning into unpleasant realities.
Who knew that a few days after those euphoric moments
I would be realizing that the strings of my heart were pulled
By desires so unnecessary for healing my own inner strife.
My words may have been so cold,
But it’s only because this sorrow I go through
Will always continue beyond tomorrow.
You don’t deserve being my eternal object of depression,
Yet you are also even taking it all too simply to be
The object of my true love and affection.
My feelings from loving you were absolutely true,
But I now see I was so wrong in believing in my own naïve thoughts.
So fleeting was the beautiful rending of my soul,
Except that no one knew then that it was only a game of pretend.
Wanting my first kiss returned, yet again I guess first can mean the worst,
So I guess I’ll find someone who will become my second best.
After telling you I can’t love you anymore, I now feel as if I can rest.
My words were only so cold,
Because something in the depths of my heart
Was calling out to be heard.
In the end though I have released myself
From the bittersweet feelings I gained from
My voice and feelings that once were forsaken.
I’m sorry for being so cold.
Copyright © Marissa Faries | Year Posted 2021
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