I'M Selfish

I'm selfish.
I’m selfish for accepting a date with him-
And actually showing up.
I’m selfish for caring for him gently.
I'm selfish for supporting his dreams and plans.
I'm especially selfish for changing my mind-
About the idea of being ready for a relationship at all.
I’m tremendously selfish for him wanting to love me-
In any capacity I would allow.

For being just friends.
For being flirty friends.
For being on the brink of giving in and asking for a relationship.
Confessing for the first time in my life I was scared of something serious. 
I’m selfish.

I'm selfish because he called me selfish.
I'm selfish for wanting to tell him yes-
While he was too busy tearing me down.
I’m selfish for in that moment resolving to let go of him.
I guess I’m selfish for crying myself to sleep after too.
Apparently I’m selfish.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2023

Poem

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Bell Avatar
April 12, 2023 at 11:02 AM
Commitment is a tough call, you have to give up things, like time, space and energy. Distance is good, cos then there's an excitement in meeting three times a month, four times in a leap year.
Hockaday Avatar
April 12, 2023 at 11:05 AM
Sometimes you love the idea of someone more than you know you actually love them.
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