I'M Selfish

I'm selfish. I’m selfish for accepting a date with him- And actually showing up. I’m selfish for caring for him gently. I'm selfish for supporting his dreams and plans. I'm especially selfish for changing my mind- About the idea of being ready for a relationship at all. I’m tremendously selfish for him wanting to love me- In any capacity I would allow. For being just friends. For being flirty friends. For being on the brink of giving in and asking for a relationship. Confessing for the first time in my life I was scared of something serious. I’m selfish. I'm selfish because he called me selfish. I'm selfish for wanting to tell him yes- While he was too busy tearing me down. I’m selfish for in that moment resolving to let go of him. I guess I’m selfish for crying myself to sleep after too. Apparently I’m selfish.