I'M HERE
When I was young and was sure there was a monster ‘neath my bed
after checking…my mom would assure me, ”There’s nothing for you to fear.”
Then she’d hold my hand and smile saying, “Don’t worry dear…I’m here.”
“I will be here as long as you need me…don’t worry your little head…
I will be here sitting next to you…to fight any monsters ‘neath your bed.”
I remembered those moments years later when she began misplacing things…
sometimes not knowing who I was…
when I saw the confusion on her face…because that’s what Alzheimers does…
I learned to cherish the times she knew me…
knew who she was…and then…
to enjoy every moment…when she was my mom again.
I never knew if her Alzheimers would be in control…
or if that day she’d be released
for that is the heartbreak of this disease…the nature of the beast.
There were times she could sense my worry…and she tried to ease my fear…
She’d take my hand…smile and say, “Don’t worry dear, I’m here.”
But this disease is unrelenting…at first making only small demands
willing to let her have her moments…while patiently waiting to take command.
On the days she didn’t recognize me…I’d try to hide my tears….
when she’d come back, take my hand and say, “Don’t worry dear…I’m here.”
When she was lost to me forever…when I could no longer hide my tears
I would take her hand in mine and place my lips next to her ears…
“Don’t worry, Mom.” I’d whisper…”There’s nothing for you to fear….
Wherever you have gone to…Don’t worry, Mom…I’m here.
“I will be here as long as you need me.” I’d say as I sat upon her bed.
“I will be here sitting next to you…to fight any monsters in your head.”
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