I'M Being Tried Because My Neighbors Were Thieves

I'm being tried for two counts of manslaughter and it's unfair. I'm being tried because my neighbor stole thirty of my pears. He and his wife ate them without washing them and they died. They didn't know that I had sprayed my pears with insecticide. They would've been alright if they had only eaten one or two. But they ate all thirty and their relatives are threatening to sue. This isn't my fault, I didn't tell my neighbor to come on my property and steal. But I'm being tried even though they're to blame for getting themselves killed. I was just found guilty by the jury. Now all twelve are leaving in a hurry. They're leaving as fast as they can because I'm beating the hell out of them. They know that their chances of escaping with all of their teeth is very slim. I've also started beating the judge because he threatened to charge me with contempt Now he will have to buy a cane because I've made certain that he will walk with a limp. There will be a lot of broken bones when I'm through. I'll rot in jail but at least whooping all of these morons is a very satisfying thing to do.