If Your Reflection Could Kill
I don't know what to say to you...
I'm sorry Juliet
my once proud Juliet do you need an explanation
to why I'm struggling to find a solution to the question
'Why should I bother to talk to you again'
I try to tell you so many times before
but I didn't want to be shunned away from you
so forgive me if my words shun you away from me
Juliet, Juliet
I admit, I admit
you are my longest reigning friend
you're owed a parade, a bouquet of flowers
sorry just not from me
May I say, may I say
you look even more beautiful
since the first time your eyes reined me in
so why is your ugly side the one to rise to surface
I'm only being honest
For years, for years
I've been your best friend, your shoulder to cry on
I've been your Romeo standing underneath your balcony
comparing thee to the Sun to rise in the East
hoping to be your knight, your prince, your king
yet you place me on a board and ironed me out
while you write 'Home Sweet Home' on my chest
but today, I'm not your doormat
I just want answers, all I want are answers
I don't know what to say to you
to your face, no
so I say this indirectly so you can let it sink in
so here
let me strap you to this chair, clasp you in restraints
and pry your eyes open so you can finally see
to ask yourself, 'Is this really me'
I don't know what to say to you
after the 6 years I've known you
after the 7 months we've been together
Do you care to fill in the blanks why
No?
Well let me take a stab at it
like you chose to deliver me in my back
when you paraded me around your friends
like I'm a trophy you won for some mediocre talent
like you're selling tickets to a freakshow
and I'm the main attraction
Let me take a jab at it while you punch me across the face
while you come to me, saying you need me
saying that you're in need of comfort
yet when I put on my cape, put the 'S' on my chest
come to your aid, be your superhero
meet your gaze with mine
I'm just instantly the farthest thing on your mind
a paper plane amongst your thoughts as you ignore
Let me bombard you with bombs of truth
as you bombarded me with sadness
all those times you ended it with us
for what 2 weeks? Twice? for what 6 months
because you needed to be held
because you needed to feel the rush of a touch
Was every ounce of the love I gave you not enough
I guess I was a just a dog on a leash
waiting to be fed a truth or were you feeding me lies
Fill in the blanks so I can decide
if you're someone I despise
I don't know what to say to you
for the way I see you behave
I thought I knew you well but I don't
Juliet, who are you
I remember your face, I remember your name
but you're beyond different from the girl I thought I knew
I used to spend my nights till 4 in the morning
floating on a sea of clouds in your voice
now I dive headfirst in a hurricane just to avoid it
All that you do
it bothers me, crawls under my skin
You chase guy after guy
each one living a lie
and you know the story, you know they don't stay for love
they stay for the glory
still you cling to love like a crutch
like you know what it is
when you just repeat the very same exact words
when the torch is passed
Your version of a relationship is a marriage in a day
Why else would you claim you're in love in a day
and it ends the next
Fill in the blanks
tell me if I'm wrong
I want to know
I want the truth to flow from your lips
for if it's a lie, let them shut forever
You have a question for me?
Why did I stay so long if I have such hostility towards you
why stay if I burn everytime I have a memory of you
One simple answer: I said forever
I told you once, forever
No matter what, I had your back
and I'd take a bullet for you if it comes to that
but since then
I've taken 10 bullets,5 stabbings, and a beheading
all at your hands
So you ask why I stay if you've caused me so much
I don't know, maybe I feel like I owe you something
What it could be, I don't know
but you owe me something: my heart
I gave it to you on a silver string, a gift
but I never got it back when you left
On second thought, keep it
it's corrupted, a black pearl of hate and anger
You weren't the cause but you feed the flames
I'll just create an artificial of paper and string
I don't know what to say to you
Are you satisfied, you're free to go
I don't know what to say to you
Will you take the truth and take it to heart
or will you treat it like trash and throw it away
I don't know what to say to you
not to your face
I once found beauty in it but I had broken all mirrors
so your reflection couldn't kill me
So a gift to you
here's the mirror I broke
in your reflection what do you see
Copyright © Andrus Cassian | Year Posted 2016
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