If She Would Permit Me
If She Would Permit Me
If her hazel eyes would permit me to look at her without any fear,
I would place my longing in my palms and offer it to her like a coat of arms sincere,
I have told no one... I have carried it like a secret buried deep in bone,
So as not to cause her pain... and to leave her beautiful... and left alone.
If she would permit me to love her, I would do it madly and complete,
I would burn everything I was and be reborn from love and from defeat,
But how could I dare with silver hair and temples touched by winter's frost,
God forbid... I tell myself... and the longing stays inside me... aching... and never lost.
If she would permit me a kiss, I would break away from reality and thought,
I would melt into her lips like wax beside the gentlest fire ever caught,
But I had better tend to my health and to my deaf and hollow peace,
And I love her in silence... the way one loves the moon... from an edge where feelings cease.
If she would permit us to live temple to temple in the very same time,
It would be a gift from God descended from the heavens into this climb,
But this does not happen... and I know... and still my heart refuses to believe,
And it keeps beating... for her... even though there is no one left to perceive.
If she would permit me to give her my heart and my entire life as one,
The words would gather powers of prayer rising toward the sun,
I would whisper an I love you with a voice dimmed like the morning ember's glow,
And perhaps... in another life... we would wake up... face to face... in the snow.
If she would permit me to permit myself to be reborn from all that remains,
I would want to love her without lies and live together through the pains,
But her hazel eyes do not know... and I stay silent... and my longing lingers on,
A love never spoken... carried in the bones... until tomorrow... and beyond.
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