If Only
Dark clouds loomed overhead...
White flowers lay there on her grave,
Raindrops started falling and people scurried,
I just stood still and tried to be brave.
For the tears they were welling up inside,
Like a dam about to give way;
My hands were quivering, my lips were dry,
The colour from my face was drained.
I walked up to the mound of wreaths,
A single tear rolled down my cheek.
I set myself down on one knee...
The dam burst, I began to weep.
If only I had told her how much I loved her!
If only I hadn’t fought with her every day!
I just wanted to tell her I was sorry...
I just wanted to make it all okay.
She had worked so hard to keep me happy,
She used to toil all day
When I was hurting she would smile and kiss me,
And make the pain go away.
When there was no money for me to go to college,
She had sold her car and paid the fees;
When I failed in my exams and had given up hope,
She had helped me get back on my feet.
All my life she was the one person
Who believed in me when no one else did;
I don’t know why I used to fight with her,
If only I hadn't screamed and shouted.
All these years she faced such hardships,
Just to make sure I had everything I wanted,
Yet instead of being grateful to my mother,
All I had shown her was anger and hatred.
Now I knelt on a dark cold rainy day,
Struggling to find words to say...
If only I could tell her I was sorry
If only I could make it all okay.
Copyright © Samuel John | Year Posted 2014
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