If I Would Have

If I had been a governess, I would have been paid. Maybe a pittance, maybe a penny, maybe in francs or yen. Who knows? If I had been a race car driver, I would have been revered By my pit crew, I would have made them laugh as I left The others in the dust, as I lapped around, refusing to Wear my helmet. Varoom! Varoom! If I had been a princess, I would have been bored, talking Politely, wearing gloves to tea, learning dreary protocols, My life not my own, a slave really. Let me out of here! But if I had been a pirate, I would have been daring and Dashing. My crew would have adored me. They would have Been terrified of my terribleness. I missed my chance. Dang it!