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If I Had To Die Tonight

As this piece is being typed, I'm only fifteen, Though come the twelfth of April I will soon be 16 Then somehow the next thing I know I will be 60 Double that, and I know with certainty that I will be no longer exsisting!! But that's beside the point, it doesn't even matter, besides All that really matters is whether you've lived a happy life And as long as I can look back, and know that my life was a happy time I wouldn't mind it in the slightest if I had to die tonight!!

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Freddie Robinson Jr.

Date: 5/30/2017 4:22:00 PM

Very cool and wise poem, OP. The Spirit of God can illumine brightly no matter what age the vessel be. You are very cerebral for your age. I'm sure the hormonal rage rises in you as w/all teenagers. Let your mind bridle it, tame it and re-focus it into a prism of white light of pure enlightenment. I will keep my eye on you, young wise one. Magnificent poem btw. May love light your path always.

Deadd Accountt
Date: 6/3/2017 12:28:00 PM

Thank you very much for the kid words sir! It means a lot to me.

Freddie Robinson Jr.
Date: 5/30/2017 4:24:00 PM

Btw ... great title. It made curious me want to see. Love and more love to you and yours.

Doug Vinson

Date: 3/26/2017 1:48:00 PM

1.) Whew, there is a lot here. : ) Born in 2001 and you're a wise man already. I think people are made to struggle - that we do better when challenged, that accomplishments mean more when they are hard-won. Challenges will come - and I'm sure you know that. At your age I had a basic faith that things would be okay, that I could trust myself to go along through life pretty well. But no way could I have articulated things as well as you do. What you say here is massively important.

Doug Vinson
Date: 3/27/2017 8:26:00 PM

Dude, you are just too nice. : ) Man, if I'd had the internet when I was a teenager I'd probably still be locked up or have people hunting me down or both...

Deadd Accountt
Date: 3/27/2017 6:00:00 PM

Wow, thanks you very much Doug!! Thank you for the well thought input and advice and wisdom. It's really cool how you gave such well thought, very real feedback. Thank you for the compliments as well! It is interesting how you took this somewhat to home and broke it down, thank you for that.

Doug Vinson
Date: 3/26/2017 1:56:00 PM

2.) I've seen a lot of lives go off the tracks, but you are rolling clean and free, right down the centerline. When faith in ourselves is lacking, various things happen - people try to compensate by blaming others, turning to religion, retreating into bitterness, intoxicants, etc. Not trying to bash religion, here - I grant that a lot of people get comfort from it.

Doug Vinson
Date: 3/26/2017 1:55:00 PM

3.) Most of us have fear of the unknown, fear of lack, fear of death, etc. We may ascribe any number of things to other entities - real and imagined - in efforts to deal with those fears. In the context of entire lifetimes, this can be huge. My wife and I often remark on things, to the effect of, "Strike me dead right now, I've had a good life."

Doug Vinson
Date: 3/26/2017 1:54:00 PM

4.) As you have identified - it's important to feel good (or at least pretty doggone decent) about one's life all along. Won't always happen, and thus the wise course then is to get to work on that situation.) My father-in-law had what most would say was a good life - good wife, 4 good kids, good career, nice house, etc.

Doug Vinson
Date: 3/26/2017 1:53:00 PM

5.) Yet he was never really satisfied - there were lingering problems from his childhood and his relationship with his dad, and a feeling like he should have been a TV star, known stand-up comedian, etc. He was funny and a natural showman, yet never pursued it. As he went through his 60s and 70s, that dissatisfied feeling was always with him.

Doug Vinson
Date: 3/26/2017 1:52:00 PM

6.) He's been dead for 3 years, and his kids and we spouses still talk about that - sadly, that was a real part of him. On you being dead by 120 - who knows? Maybe not - the research going into genes, longevity, etc., may change things drastically, and by the year 2076 a lot may have happened.

Doug Vinson
Date: 3/26/2017 1:51:00 PM

7.) I pick 2076 - a male born in 2001, guessed at you being American, thus your life expectancy is 74 to 75 years. On the perception of time passing - yes, it goes fast and it seems to speed up as we age. Your 20s are big - first decade of real adulthood (although, you, personally, seem to be getting a head start), most of us are still "young and immortal+ - a wide gulf stretches from 20 to 30.

Doug Vinson
Date: 3/26/2017 1:50:00 PM

8.) Clock ticks faster to ages 40 and 50, jobs, kids, marriage, housing - more settled than they were in our 20s, we get through the months paying the bills, and before we know it we're "middle aged" and beyond. Easy to stagnate then. Classmates, co-workers, relatives are dying - you're aware. I'm 58, so knocking on the door of that 60 you mention. Too late to change a lot of things now.

Doug Vinson
Date: 3/26/2017 1:49:00 PM

9.) Life-expectancy gets real - my wife and I have to be honest about how long we will live and how best to handle those remaining years. This is a bit longer than the average comment, so I'll wind it down. Knowing ourselves and having a suitable philosophy is massively important to our happiness, and you are remarkable in that aspect. Cheers, Doug. Or should I have said, "wind it up"?

Chris Green

Date: 3/21/2017 9:53:00 AM

Very cool, I am close to that doubling point...but like you, if the end came today...I've had fun. ;)

Deadd Accountt
Date: 3/21/2017 6:15:00 PM

Yes sir!! Thanks for the comment.

Darren White

Date: 3/21/2017 2:58:00 AM

I love this OP. Are you really still fifteen? Or is it for the sake of poetry? I am 21. You write extremely well. This what you write is so uplifting, I like it.

Deadd Accountt
Date: 3/21/2017 6:14:00 PM

I sure won't man, same goes for you!

Darren White
Date: 3/21/2017 9:11:00 AM

wow again to you! just don't stop writing :)

Deadd Accountt
Date: 3/21/2017 8:20:00 AM

Thanks a bunch man, it means a lot from you!! Yes I am 15 but in April 12 I will be 16. :)