If I Didn'T Love You

I'm having a hard time believing That you could just walk away from me Without having any sort of effect on you No turning back No second guesses No big deal We hadn't seen each other in 20 years And you know you opened up a can of worms when you kissed me, out of the blue Be it real and true Or just acting on a whim Either way, it started something neither one of us was expecting, nor could deny A year or so later, here you are Turning the page, mid-story with yet another new face And, here I am Still juggling rattled emotions Still finding my way out Still trying to let go And sadly, Still feeding on the meager breadcrumbs you toss my way once in a while You used to fight for me, didn't want to completely let go But now I'm not so sure So, if you still care enough for me to be honest, and you have completely let go I need to know Because this sliver of hope I'm holding onto deep in my heart, is going to tear me to shreds And even more so because 'If I didn't love you, I'd be good by now' ?? September 25, 2021 (Quote courtesy: Jason Aldean and Carrie Underwood)