If Dogs Could Talk

If dogs could talk, what would they say? Would they label any of their own as "mangy mutts?" Would they toss around epithets like "cur" or "?" Would they call a down-and-outer a "dog without a bone?" If dogs could talk, would they come up with "the dog days of August?" Would they describe a downpour as "raining cats and dogs?" Would they call a period of misfortune "a dog's life?" Would they say that a tough day at the office is "working like a dog?" Perhaps they'd equate negatives with the human race "As mean as a little kid pulling a dog's tail" "As heartless as someone who cages an animal" "As lazy as a man watching football on a Sunday afternoon But perhaps they wouldn't Dogs are too classy for that