I'Am Not My Hair
I saw that sneer heard the mockery
It came straight from your heart
Like bread comes from a bakery
Your eyes said it all and though it hurt
Stung for that minute second I choose to stay merry.
When you threw words over my head
Treating me like a zombie so simple minded
I chose to watch you and pretend
That I was floating and did not understand
I saw you wink discreetly you thought
At your friends and then into pearls of laughter erupt
Turned me into a private joke that was not too private.
I felt your cold hands caress my back
And the blood in my veins chilled and froze
I knew without knowing you and the devil are a pack
Your words spoke pity but there was no warmth
It was like hanging onto a glacier
Afraid of frostbite and being swept by the tide.
You said the paths I took were wrong
You said my hair I was black and shaggy
Why couldn't wear a weave
You wondered why my skirts were long
Why couldn't I wear trousers
You wondered why my toes had no paint
Why couldn't I just paint them gold
You wondered why at my age I was still single
Why couldn't I just get a sponsor
Any other time I might have cried
But I ' am older and wiser.
I know my path is mine alone
If it leads to tears I 'll wipe them away
If it leads to pain I 'll handle it my way
So I chose to smile and play possum
I counted to ten to calm my raging heart
Then I smiled at you and walked away
I could hear your laughter follow
But my strides were joyous and my smile bright
And you thought me a fool
But am older am wiser am stronger
Love me hate me its changes me not
With God walking beside me and holding me
I 'll follow my own paths and I will prevail.
Copyright © Marion Mwangi | Year Posted 2016
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