Notes About The Poem

Coming home after military deployment is often imagined as the end of a journey, the moment when everything returns to normal. But for many, home is not a place of relief; it is where the weight of what was endured finally settles in. This poem reflects the quiet distance that can grow between people when one of them returns changed by experiences they cannot fully share.

Through the eyes of a friend, the poem traces the slow, almost unnoticeable shift from closeness to silence. Familiar laughter fades, conversations grow shorter, and concern replaces comfort. What once felt easy becomes careful, as if both people are learning how to exist in a new, fragile version of the same relationship.

This piece is about absence as much as presence, about what is left unsaid, the spaces where answers should be, and the lasting impact of not knowing. It reminds us that loss does not always arrive loudly or with clear explanations. Sometimes it comes quietly, leaving behind memories, unanswered questions, and the ache of wondering what more could have been done..

I Wonder Where He Went

He came back home, not the same. 
Still had his smile. 
Still knew my name. 
Something deep behind his eyes. 
Locked the doors and dimmed his light. 

We used to laugh at silly things. 
Rough-edged jokes and stories told. 
Now every joke just passes by. 
Echoes of a life denied. 

He said, “It’s nothing, just tired I am” 
I just need time and “I’ll be grand”
I'd text, I'd call, then let it be. 
Not knowing if he’d answer me.
 
We'd sit in silence now and then. 
Me looking for my oldest friend. 
But war had drawn a quiet line. 
Between his haunted world and mine.
 
One morning came, he wasn’t there. 
His bed still made, and room just cleared. 
No note, no sign, no last goodbye.
Just empty spaces and questions why.
 
And still I walk the roads we knew. 
Still laugh sometimes, he’d laugh too. 
But every joy feels slightly bent. 
Because I wonder where he went.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2025

Poem

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Kitchin Avatar
August 26, 2026 at 5:58 PM
Audra, so wonderfully penned. A great depiction of how being deployed can affect families and relationships.
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