I Wish I Could Not Be

Waking up hours before the person you lie next to Thinking about how trapped you are in you About how vile, putrid and disgusting their claw-like touch will rape your skin when they awake. This is a place I don't EVER want to be again Again, from across the room Spying every movement now Every sound All the while holding down Your hateful bile. That is a home I don't want as my own Being a man not a man But a ghost and a shadow Walking through walls Through people Through life This is a man I wish i could not be.