Tia Himes | + Follow Poet |
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I Will Not Fail

You want the truth
There are people out there 
That just want to take away your youth
There is nothing we gain
But the fact
We carry around a lot of pain
I beg god please
As I grab the rope
Looking for relief
There is no hope
They say they know the road is long
But you'll turn out to be so strong
I will not fail
I know there will be grief
As my face turns pale
I had no where to go
And no one to call
So I kicked the chair 
And let my body fall

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Jason Jenkins Date: 8/4/2017 7:18:00 PM Love your ending would of liked to of read more adjectives. Seem to lack flavor towards the middle. my8 Login to Reply

Jason Jenkins Date: 8/4/2017 7:15:00 PM Liked how you started it but it seem to slip away on you towards the end. You were panicky searching for tune but seem to lose your rhythm. Login to Reply

Darren White Date: 7/14/2017 3:08:00 AM That is a painful and sad poem on rhyme (rhyme is the correct form). Suicide is always such a difficult subject, but I never shy away from it. Welcome to PoetrySoup. Login to Reply Tia Himes Date: 7/14/2017 3:32:00 PM Thank you.