Caren Krutsinger Poet Free verse

I Will Go To Jail Instead of a Nursing Home

During lunch I announced when I retire I am going to go to jail.
What?
Jail, I repeated. I will rob a bank or something.
The three others laughed. 

Think about it, I told them. How much do nursing homes cost?
They started to think about it and discussed how much they
Were already paying for their own mothers
$4,500 a month $8,000 a month, $10,000 a month.
Jail is free right? To the prisoner anyway, not to the rest of us.

I could play cards, make lots of new friends, and maybe write poetry
New story ideas I’ll bet, maybe some really juicy new story ideas!

My family would save thousands of dollars, maybe even tens of thousands
Of dollars.  

How would you get in? I would rob a bank, I told them.  No one laughed.
They were thinking…..
Then all three burst out laughing.

I could! I insisted, convincing no one, not even myself.

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M. L. Kiser December 2, 2018 at 8:17 PM Hey if it works for you....maybe the rest of us should consider it! And you can get that 2,3, or 4th Ph. D. for free! M. L. Kiser December 3, 2018 at 6:04 AM Hey, that is a better idea....let me grab my guitar and didgeridoo and I'll join you. Caren Krutsinger December 2, 2018 at 10:03 PM I do not want to go back to school. I will lie on a bed, playing a digaroo, singing my heart out until someone kills me for being noisy.

Andrew Fairchild November 30, 2018 at 9:47 PM When you rob the bank, make sure that it's the SAME bank used by the nursing home, you are trying to avoid! Peace. Caren Krutsinger November 30, 2018 at 11:12 PM Hilarious reply Andrew. Thanks for the good thought!

Rhona Mcferran November 30, 2018 at 6:26 PM This is such a brilliant blend of humor & thought-provoking social commentary... (as are a lot of your poems) LOVE it!!! Caren Krutsinger November 30, 2018 at 11:13 PM And it makes SENSE right? I am always trying to do that, just in case I am not here tomorrow.

Kim Rodrigues November 30, 2018 at 7:31 AM So true! And truly some get neglected or beaten up in a nursing home so why pay for that. Of course, if you are clever enough, you will not get caught when you rob the bank and just have a wonderful caretaker in the end. ‘Just ‘say’n!! ;) Caren Krutsinger November 30, 2018 at 11:14 PM Man, I had not thought of that scenario. Maybe I will have to rob 8 or 10 banks, Kim. I do WANT to get caught

Lindsay Laurie November 29, 2018 at 11:12 PM G'day Caren … unfortunately banks here hold barely any cash these days, so you won't earn much there, but the benefits of the act will see you looked after Caren. After reading your poem, a few more prisons may have to be built - thanks for the thought Caren - Lindsay Caren Krutsinger November 30, 2018 at 7:02 AM I probably should not have "shown my hand" so fast, right?