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I Was the Next Best Thing

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'I have made my own way in life, it has made me the person I am today ... and I wouldn't change a thing' quote by Poet she’s the golden girl apple of her father’s eye I am the black sheep they heaped her with praise I was like Cinderella doing all the work gift her everything house, car and money on tap I held down five jobs throughout my whole life we’re treated differently was he my father? six years since he died my sister inherited I will never mourn I still have my mum my husband and super son sis has got three cats dad wanted a son instead he got a daughter I'm the 'next best thing'* made my way in life and stood on my own two feet wouldn’t swap places! * this is what mum told me she said this when I was born as dad was disappointed I wasn't a boy - she told him I was the next best thing. I was never close to my father and I've often wondered if that is the reason I was treated so differently to my sibling who was 'daddy's girl' Life's Struggles- any form - Updated- Poetry Contest Sponsored by Constance La France 03/08/21

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Paul Schneiter

Date: 4/17/2021 8:35:00 PM

Jan, your poem is deeply affecting. I would never have guessed you had such a childhood. The teachings of my faith proclaim that problems make us stronger. Your position as as poet of astonishing accomplishment validates those teachings. You are more awesome to me now more than ever. Hugs, Love, Paul

Jan Allison
Date: 4/18/2021 5:54:00 PM

aww thanks Paul, we were treated so so differently especially when i was 16 and i did my nursery nursing course at the local college whereas my sister went to Norland which is where the royal nannies come from, then they purchased a house for her a couple of years later and she has lived on benefits and bank of mum and dad until my father passed away - she is to be pitied in so many ways but i am the much better person for having to stand on my own two feet and make my way in life - when we moved to the Island i held 5 work permits for part time jobs its made me the person i am now:-) hugs Jan xx

Phyllis Babcock

Date: 3/17/2021 6:02:00 PM

Congratulations Jan on a very touching poem. love phyl

Jan Allison
Date: 4/18/2021 5:50:00 PM

thanks Phyllis:-) hugs jan xx

Line Gauthier

Date: 3/15/2021 6:58:00 PM

Some things aren't meant to be understood I guess ~ Hugs, Jan xx

Jan Allison
Date: 3/16/2021 2:45:00 PM

Thanks so much for your comment Line:-) hugs Jan xx

Juliet Ligon

Date: 3/10/2021 9:43:00 PM

Bless your heart. Seems as though you've become a stronger person through it all. Your poem is touching.

Jan Allison
Date: 3/16/2021 2:43:00 PM

Thanks so much for your comment:-) hugs Jan xx

Constance La France

Date: 3/10/2021 8:55:00 PM

Jan, congratulations on your win in my Life's Struggle contest with this excellent series of Senryu to create your poem, it broke my heart, so much pain within your words, so emotional and your selected image fits your poem well, I love your quote also, I would not change a thing about you either, well done _Constance

Jan Allison
Date: 3/16/2021 2:42:00 PM

Thanks so much for your comment Constnace and a fab contest xx :-) hugs Jan xx

Paul Callus

Date: 3/10/2021 12:25:00 PM

Considering the situation you describe in this set of Senryu, it's probably a good thing that she is not on the scene. I too would not want to swap places!!! ~ Hugs // paul

Jan Allison
Date: 3/16/2021 2:40:00 PM

Thanks so much for your comment Paul:-) hugs Jan xx

Joanna Daniel

Date: 3/10/2021 2:15:00 AM

It's really sad to know how he could treat you like that, anyway glad you are you, Jan:)

Jan Allison
Date: 3/16/2021 2:39:00 PM

Thanks so much for your comment Jo :-) hugs Jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 3/10/2021 12:51:00 AM

- No matter how much you want everything to be perfect, life doesn’t work that way - Congratulations on your win, Jan :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)

Jan Allison
Date: 3/16/2021 2:37:00 PM

for sure my friend:-) hugs jan xx

Unseeking Seeker

Date: 3/9/2021 6:44:00 PM

Each acts as of their consciousness, knowing no better, can do no better. Releasing ourselves from expectations, we are free. ~ Beautiful poem Jan! May your heart keep singing! Congrats on your top win!

Jan Allison
Date: 3/16/2021 2:36:00 PM

Thanks so much for your comment:-) hugs Jan xx

Alexis Y.

Date: 3/9/2021 2:42:00 PM

Hi Jan, I'm just coming back to give you a big congrats on your win. It was well deserved-Alexis

Jan Allison
Date: 3/16/2021 2:35:00 PM

Thanks so much for your commentAlexis:-) hugs Jan xx

Christopher Flaherty

Date: 3/9/2021 12:42:00 PM

Not your fault and no reason why on earth you should be treated differenly. I love this Jan but hate it because it breaks my heart. It sadly reminds me of being asked by my 2 niece's why there older sister was treated so differently to them. It made my heart sink because the honest truthful answer was because she is the blue eyed favorite

Jan Allison
Date: 3/16/2021 2:35:00 PM

Thanks so much for your comment Chris I wouldnt spend a minute in her shoes:-) hugs Jan xx

Christopher Flaherty
Date: 3/9/2021 12:44:00 PM

You may do comedy or humour brilliantly well Jan. But you also do touching poignant just as well

Rico Leffanta

Date: 3/9/2021 11:41:00 AM

British history establishes the precedent of the eldest son getting everything plus a shillling whilst second and subsequent sons get the boot. The Bible preaches the same doctrine despite Hebrews once being classified as a matriarchal society! Rejection does make some people stronger whilst others wilt. You made it, girl! Aloha! Rico

Jan Allison
Date: 3/16/2021 2:34:00 PM

Thanks so much for your comment Rico i am far better off than she will ever be:-) hugs Jan xx

Jennifer Proxenos

Date: 3/9/2021 10:47:00 AM

Jan its sad but I do understand. We are always closer to one parent than we are to the other, and unfortunately there is always a reason. Good luck in the contest my friend, very well penned. Blessings and hugs, Jennifer.

Jan Allison
Date: 3/16/2021 2:34:00 PM

Thanks so much for your comment I have only become close to my mum since my father died:-) hugs Jan xx

Carolyn Devonshire

Date: 3/9/2021 10:05:00 AM

Jan, I think my father would have preferred another boy, but all the attention went to my older sister. She had the brains and beauty in the family. I know it's hard for you to communicate with your sister, but it's certainly understandable. Good for you for making a life that you enjoy! A great entry for Constance's contest. Hugs, Carolyn

Jan Allison
Date: 3/16/2021 2:33:00 PM

Thanks so much for your comment Carolyn:-) hugs Jan xx

Judy Ball

Date: 3/9/2021 8:03:00 AM

PS Love the little black sheep. He's the cutest. I want him. JB

Jan Allison
Date: 3/16/2021 2:33:00 PM

thanks judy xx

Judy Ball

Date: 3/9/2021 8:00:00 AM

OOhoo! Been there and done that. My sister had everything proferred on a platter including a car for her 16th birthday. I sat and waited my turn which never came. I was lucky to have something to eat. Ignored by both parents. I feel you sister. Good write. Let it all out. God Bless, JB

Jan Allison
Date: 3/16/2021 2:32:00 PM

Thanks so much for your comment so sad you can relate too:-) hugs Jan xx

Mike Gentile

Date: 3/9/2021 6:53:00 AM

I can't imagine the hurt, Jan and I'm glad that you found the strength to survive, thrive and maintain your wicked sense of humor xxoo

Jan Allison
Date: 3/9/2021 7:28:00 AM

My sense oh humour has got me through life Mike, and will continue in many poems but this isn't one of them:-) hugs jan xx

Jenna Logan

Date: 3/9/2021 6:29:00 AM

Jan, you are a much stronger woman because of your trials. I admire your tenacity and applaud your courage to have written and shared what must not have been easy for you to have done. Hugs for you

Jan Allison
Date: 3/9/2021 7:27:00 AM

Thanks Jenna I did another poem earlier this year on the same subject, I cannot understand why we were treated so differently but I have everything I need and have worked for and my family and my sibling has her 3 cats - or did no idea if the menagerie has grown (amazing for someone who suffers from asthma!) and i care not anymore hugs jan xx

Mark Koplin

Date: 3/9/2021 5:08:00 AM

My heart breaks for you Jan, for what it's worth I'm proud of the person you turned out to be. You should have been in my family, my parents had all boys and my dad wanted so much to have a little girl. He would have spoiled you rotten. Great poem and thank you for sharing your pain my friend!

Jan Allison
Date: 3/9/2021 6:17:00 AM

Thanks Mark, I know sadly that others can relate to the differences in the way they were brought up, my parents couldnt understand how it looked for me when i was at the local college and my sister was doing the same course but at Norland where the royal nannies were trained. when they brought her a house they said they would make it up to me ... and in the words of the song ... I'm still waiting lol:-) hugs jan xx

Victor Buhagiar

Date: 3/8/2021 11:27:00 PM

Can't understand how some parents treat their children differently. They'll get their reward.

Jan Allison
Date: 3/9/2021 6:15:00 AM

We were treated so differently Victor it makes me question if he was my father especially after things mum has said, but i am far better off for having to stand on my own two feet:-) hugs jan xx

Terry Flood

Date: 3/8/2021 4:54:00 PM

Pretty well been there, done that, Jan. You know what? there is no greater reward in life than a clear conscience and sleeping the sleep of the innocent. Besides... was it the ‘next-best’ thing or was it The next ‘best-thing’. By the way, the poem hit home too. Terry

Jan Allison
Date: 3/9/2021 6:11:00 AM

so sorry you can relate too Terry it is cathartic to write this sort of stuff, i wanted to enter the contest but wasnt sure what to write:-) hugs Jan xx

Alexis Y.

Date: 3/8/2021 3:15:00 PM

Hi Jan, It's sad you were treated like that. A child didn't ask to be here. They treated you wrong, and you still turned out to be a good person. The person you are is evident in poetry. It's good you don't have any ill toward your sister. You're blessed with a husband, son, mum, and friends. Best wishes in the contest. Have a great day, my friend- Alexis

Jan Allison
Date: 3/9/2021 6:10:00 AM

I am truly blessed all i feel for her is pity:-) I definitely faired better in life that she has with everything handed to her on a plate:-) hugs jan xx

Tom Cunningham

Date: 3/8/2021 2:59:00 PM

She sounds a nasty piece of work Jan and you're better off with her out of your life. As you say you have a wonderful husband and son and live in a beautiful place and of course your mom. And the best of it is she doesn't take a penny with her when her times up. Hope you're well now. Tom

Jan Allison
Date: 3/9/2021 6:08:00 AM

I will never have contact with her now but thats life:-( hugs jan xx

Ilene Bauer

Date: 3/8/2021 1:18:00 PM

more power to you, jan! i think you've made a wonderful life for yourself and your poem attests to your strength and resolve...

Jan Allison
Date: 3/8/2021 2:40:00 PM

The only thing i feel for my sibling is pity - shes refused to speak to me since we were in the lawyers in 2015 when mum and I had to hand over our share of land to her in Lithuania (i wasnt even aware i was entitled to it under their law but its 25% to the spouse and 75% divided by the siblings but dad wanted her to have it all!, she accused me of holding up proceedings as there was a delay in probate (all of which the lawyers were dealing with and not me lol) and hasnt spoken to me since! I am happy with my lot and am truly blessed to have a happy life a wonderful hubby and son and still have mum who my sibling never contacts to my knowledge in the last 3 or so years no mothersw day cards etc etc. mum has destroyed the pics of her and there are none of dad on display for several years now.

J. Summers

Date: 3/8/2021 1:07:00 PM

Such a sad lament Jan. But so good to see that you took what you had and made the very most of it. Best wishes. John

Jan Allison
Date: 3/8/2021 2:35:00 PM

I never questioned why the bought her a house, car sent her to private college to do the same course i did at the local tech. i am far better off having worked for everything we own:-) hugs Jan xx