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I Still Feel the Pain

I still feel the pain

I remember the past- as I'm looking back
and I still can't believe it's true...
it's hard for even me,   to believe,
the things that have happened to me

I'm alive today,   I try to forget it all
but, some days are just too much...
at times...horrific memories come 'round
and they just keep haunting me

Chorus
A child shouldn't see blood...or feel such pain,
A child should never, ever...feel such suffering
There were days, I thought that my life, was at it's end
Even today-I still feel the pain...
even though, I know...I'm not to blame

I raise my eyes to the skies, and pray for better days
'cause they're so few,  and far between
God knows, that it snows, inside my soul
for all the sadness,    that I've seen

Well, I still live in fear-feel the danger's still near
although I don't see anyone there
I look to the time,  when I'll find,   peace of mind
with no more reasons,    to feel scared

Chorus
A child shouldn't see blood...or feel such pain,
A child should never, ever...feel such suffering
There were days, I thought that my life, was at it's end
Even today-I still feel the pain...
even though, I know...I'm not to blame

Even today...
I still feel the pain...

even though...

I know...

I'm not to blame...

even though...

I know...

I'm not to blame.

John Derek Hamilton
October 31,2019

Copyright © John Hamilton | Year Posted 2019

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Darlene De Beaulieu Date: 11/12/2019 1:04:00 PM Hello John Hamilton,this is the right poem for Sandra Adams. i do hope she reads this poem you wrote for her. have a nice day my friend. Login to Reply John Hamilton Date: 11/12/2019 10:19:00 PM Thanks Darlene, I'm glad you came by with your nice comment, she has seen it, if you want to see her reaction read her comments below the poem in the comments section!

Heidi Sands Date: 11/4/2019 7:53:00 AM Wow I can relate to every word in this John.! This song means so much. A very nice tribute to Sandra and so well written! :) Login to Reply John Hamilton Date: 11/4/2019 9:21:00 AM Thanks Heidi, it saddens me to know you too relate to this, too many of us can relate unfortunately, abuse seems to have been rampant in our generation, thanks for your kind visit!

Gregory Richard Barden Date: 11/3/2019 7:47:00 PM Very powerful, John, and most can relate, as few people live without abuse or assault or impending threat and trauma. Some of us may never be at a point where we're able to even share such things, but the fact that Sandra and you DO gives us strength and hope that it's possible. Much of my abuse was self-inflicted, but much of it was not ... those are the places I'm yet unwilling to go. God bless you both and all those with courage to share. Wonderful write. <3 Login to Reply John Hamilton Date: 11/3/2019 8:05:00 PM Thanks G, nice of you to pass by my way, glad to see you, thanks for your comment, I'm sure we all have our own horror stories to tell, but like you say some can't go there, and that's ok too!

Silent One Date: 11/3/2019 5:12:00 PM This is heartbreakingly sad.. no child deserves such pain.. Login to Reply John Hamilton Date: 11/3/2019 5:53:00 PM So true, it's sad all around, she's been through it all, she's a real fighter, good example for everyone!

Brenda Chiri Date: 11/2/2019 8:09:00 PM Wonderful dedication to sandy !;) Login to Reply John Hamilton Date: 11/2/2019 9:48:00 PM Thanks Brenda, so glad you came by with your kind words!

Richard Lamoureux Date: 11/2/2019 11:10:00 AM Indeed we are still standing. I have no regrets, those hardships imparted invaluable gifts. Login to Reply John Hamilton Date: 11/2/2019 9:48:00 PM So true, we have become stronger from adversity, with God's help!

Brandy Nicole Date: 11/1/2019 11:14:00 PM I hate hearing that Sandra has been through something as horrific as this. No one should ever experience such moments. Ever!! I don't know her, but it sounds like she is an amazing woman. Your thoughts touch me and my heart so deeply. ~ Brandy Login to Reply John Hamilton Date: 11/2/2019 10:58:00 AM Thanks Brandy for your kind visit, and compassionate words, glad you were moved by my words enough to comment!

Andrea Dietrich Date: 11/1/2019 8:30:00 PM you expressed so very well the pain and sadness of her childhood, John. AT least she took it and made from all the trials GREAT poetry. I agree with you. She is one of the finest! Wonderful poem, John. Login to Reply John Hamilton Date: 11/2/2019 10:57:00 AM Thanks Andrea for stopping by with your kind words, she is truly a survivor!

Casarah Nance Date: 11/1/2019 8:26:00 PM oh my. I can feel this one deeply. very well expressed. Login to Reply John Hamilton Date: 11/2/2019 10:56:00 AM Thanks Cas, nice to "see" you and hear your nice comment, it is a very sad situation, glad you were moved!

Arturo Michael Date: 11/1/2019 5:55:00 AM Well done...May her teardrops bloom into millions of flowers and her bleeding heart be the healer of many others...Nice of you John... Login to Reply John Hamilton Date: 11/1/2019 2:16:00 PM Thanks Arturo for your kind visit and comment!

CayCay Jennings Date: 10/31/2019 4:27:00 PM Mr. John Derek Hamilton: Can your hear clapping occurring in Virginia? Good, then you probably can't tell my tears have welled up either. Sandra led me here just as she led you to write which means we all here and blessed with a world that just got a little more love in because Sandra moved you. This is touching and I am touched; please let me know the date, place and time for any and all live performances that may include this song. I'll bring the kleenex. Poetry hugs ... CayCay Login to Reply John Hamilton Date: 11/1/2019 10:06:00 AM You are always so gracious and kind with your generous words. I'm glad you were moved by the write Cay Cay...proves you are a loving person...although we already knew that!

Vijay Pandit Date: 10/31/2019 11:47:00 AM A heartfelt dedication to a wonderful friend--I feel the pain in every verse--imprints on childhood memories never go away..you said it so well in this touching lyric..kudos John! Login to Reply John Hamilton Date: 11/1/2019 10:03:00 AM Thanks so much Vijay I'm glad your heart was moved by the content of this subject matter. It's a difficult thing to go through...I know!

Richard Lamoureux Date: 10/31/2019 10:09:00 AM I’m so sorry our friend had to endure so much. I am touched by your lyrics and compassion. Having grown up in an abusive home, on some levels I can relate to early trauma. Scars from early on have far reaching effect. Login to Reply John Hamilton Date: 10/31/2019 10:19:00 AM Thanks Rick, I knew you would comment on this one, cause we both had similar upbringing, dealing with the scars and trauma takes it's toll, but hey we're still standing!! Thanks a bunch! JD

Chris Green Date: 10/31/2019 9:38:00 AM John, such a beautiful and heartfelt lyrical dedication to a wonderful poet. And I must say, it is an amazing gift from one wonderful poet to another wonderful poet! Your words are heartbreaking and reading Sandy's comment below, you have expressed this pain quite accurately but in a beautiful melodic way that will have many fighting tears as they read this, myself included. Bravo Maestro! Login to Reply John Hamilton Date: 10/31/2019 9:47:00 AM Thanks Chris I know I can count on you for an honest assessment of my writing. Your words weigh heavily on me, as I count you to be a wonderful songwriter and poet. Thank you for your gracious and encouraging words. I hope this song will touch many more lives. Thanks again!

Sandra Adams Date: 10/31/2019 9:28:00 AM Oh my gosh John this is a beautiful dedication and I feel so honored right now to have inspired such a beautiful write from you ... your events are very accurate. The things I have been through in my life would even make you shiver in pain...I think I shy from love because pain always came from those who claimed love starting as a child... I have been stalked, abducted at gun point and as a survivor somehow managed to escape death. My pain will always be there perhaps that’s why my heart is so good to others. The things I have been through others can’t even comprehend! Thank you. You have touched me more than you know. This beauty is going in my favorites... I love this :). Hugs and tears Login to Reply Sandra Adams Date: 10/31/2019 9:54:00 AM oh John, it sounds like you have walked in my same footsteps... perhaps that was why you had so much insight into my pain...you picked it up through my musings and comments more than others would because it was all too familiar...we are here for a reason, God Bless us both and anyone who we help along our path....i can't tell you how much this one touches me...it's beyond the realm of words.. hugs John Hamilton Date: 10/31/2019 9:44:00 AM Well Sandy, what can I say...you are an inspiration to all of us that have suffered abuse. I too have had my life threatened once at knife point, twice at gunpoint, three times with deadly diseases, on and on. God knows how much we can bear, and he uses us to be an example for others, to show God's power to those who don't believe in him. I'm grateful that you found this one worthy of a fave. God bless JD

Freddie Robinson Jr. Date: 10/31/2019 9:28:00 AM Two thumbs up for this soul elevating gem, JD!! I am always lyrically inspired when I read your eclectic poetry. Your book of songs are so diverse having such depth of thought/simplicity of expression. Another masterpiece penned! But, the compassion in your heart outshine the sparkling words in your poem. A fave of Nth dimension. Love and more love always. Login to Reply John Hamilton Date: 10/31/2019 9:37:00 AM Hey Freddie so glad to see you pass by my way. I'm grateful for your gracious and complimentary words about my work, believe me the feeling is mutual, much love and respect. I'm honored that you felt this write worthy of a fave, this is a special day, because of your comment. Love and peace JD