I Remember
I remember seeing a concrete pillar that dwarfed me,
I remember my eyes hurt because the sun was so bright,
I remember feeling the heat from the pavement reach my face,
I remember scribbling loads of woollen balls on my copybook in the classroom,
I remember my mother say to the nun “Well he is four now”,
I remember playing with a red and cream plastic toy in bed because I was sick,
I remember the nun wrapping my brother’s faeces in newspaper
and sending me home with it to give to my mother,
I remember kicking my legs under the bedclothes because it was Christmas Eve,
I remember seeing a ghost outside my bedroom door,
I remember waking up in agony seconds after I was run over by a car on the street,
I remember first falling in love with the young nurse in the hospital; I was nine,
I remember loving going to the dentist because it meant a day off school,
I remember believing that Indians were going to attack my uncle’s farmhouse,
I remember thinking cows were my aunts,
I remember seeing my mother naked,
I remember the way my father looked at me as he entered the room,
I remember crying because my mother said no,
I remember being lost in Galway,
I remember being found by my mother and she laughed and stroked my hair,
I remember my granny going into town and coming back with a silver gun for me,
I remember my father hitting me,
I remember serving mass and feeling important,
I remember the granny nun, who used to let me sit on her knee,
I remember being afraid of my teacher,
I remember my first lie,
I remember the lie was about sins I never committed but I admitted them to satisfy the
priest,
I remember my real sins, like stealing money from my mothers jar,
I remember feeling that I was a bad person,
I remember feeling ugly,
I remember feeling dirty,
I remember feeling hope secretly,
I remember planning to run away with my brother,
I remember promising to myself that I will never forget,
Memories matter.
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