I never learned to fly
I was in the air, thinking
I had left all the pain behind,
thinking
I had all the happiness
I could get in the world.
I spent my life
calling someone else’s name
when I was in trouble,
all my life
screaming someone else’s name,
believing that if I did bad,
he would talk to me.
I spent all of my life thinking
that I had done several things right
because I had always stepped inside the line,
never—never—
caught out of the line.
A set of rules
I was given to follow,
and indeed, I did.
At the time, a rule-set book.
I swam.
I swam deeper into my mind,
understanding what it could really achieve,
and I did.
Every time I got to learn a new thing,
and a way to criticize others
who were not following my words
and those rules,
I swam deeper.
Soon that pond became a lake,
and that lake became a sea,
and that sea became an ocean—
the largest ocean.
I kept swimming deeper and deeper.
Every time, I obeyed it.
But when I got the chance to fly,
I forgot.
I never trained for this.
I only know
how to swim
inside my mind.
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