I Love Thee First

Truth, I love thee first, yet you must know that I strain, To deny the feelings that once burned inside of me. The anthems of devotion were inscribed upon my brain, How I hate them (knowing now) she can never set me free. Truth, I love thee first, yet you must know that I cry, Your face is ever glorious, though so harsh when seen anew. Why can’t you let me drown her in the past? Tell me why! My memories are poison if I choose to let them through. Truth, I love thee first, yet you must know that I want, To pretend that she was nothing, that I was blinded by some trick. Perhaps, then, I can keep intact, and drive the ghosts that haunt, Away into the darkness, then snuff out the candle’s wick! Truth, I loved her first; it’s myself I’m lying at. I sigh as I now realize I must come to terms with that. 28 July 2016 Written for "DENIAL" contest, sponsored by Julia Ward