I Love Thee First
Truth, I love thee first, yet you must know that I strain,
To deny the feelings that once burned inside of me.
The anthems of devotion were inscribed upon my brain,
How I hate them (knowing now) she can never set me free.
Truth, I love thee first, yet you must know that I cry,
Your face is ever glorious, though so harsh when seen anew.
Why can’t you let me drown her in the past? Tell me why!
My memories are poison if I choose to let them through.
Truth, I love thee first, yet you must know that I want,
To pretend that she was nothing, that I was blinded by some trick.
Perhaps, then, I can keep intact, and drive the ghosts that haunt,
Away into the darkness, then snuff out the candle’s wick!
Truth, I loved her first; it’s myself I’m lying at.
I sigh as I now realize I must come to terms with that.
28 July 2016
Written for "DENIAL" contest, sponsored by Julia Ward
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