I Hope

I hope you suffer one day. I hope you lose your hair and cry for days. I hope every step hurts. I hope your nausea renders you speechless, and bouts of dizziness sends you crashing to the floor. I hope your mind feels like cotton, and you stutter through every sentence. I hope you need rest after every shower, want rest after every breath. I hope your staircases are mountains, and your feet are weighted down. I hope your body is littered with scars from a disease you can't control. I hope a sadness fills your heart, a depression too deep to see through. I hope sleep is an odd concept, a privilege you can't obtain. I hope you have bags under your eyes, darker than the bruises on your arms. I hope your pillow is soaked with tears, and is sprinkled with drops of blood. I hope you wake up in pain, and agony colors every movement. I hope friends leave you and their absence leaves you empty, as empty as your absence has left me. But in reality, I can't. Because I hope you never lose your hair and your body never aches. I hope sleep comes to you quickly, and happiness fills your days. I hope your friends never leave you, and you never feel alone. I hope you never live like this. I just- I just hope you'll come back.