I haven’t left
when the pain faded i wanted you there
i left, but not for protection or abandonment,
i left to be seen.
did it end when the words left my mouth?
no,
you left when you decided that words were too much.
i loved you even when my body failed me.
my mouth said the wrong things and my legs lead me in the wrong direction.
but at least i thought i was getting closer to you,
what filled your mind as you walked away from me?
these tears aren’t those of disappointment.
these aren’t regrets i hold, these are lessons dropping into my palms.
every tear is an opportunity for me to realize
how much of you is me
and how much of me is you.
will you let yourself forget me?
or have you already become akin to me?
are we living in the same world yet?
or has your ignorance already lead you to a greater bliss than i could offer?
how much more of my truth do i have to throw away to reach you?
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