I Don'T Want To Grow Up

.. Looking back on times when I needed no one....i realize those are the times when I needed someone the most when I went out on a limb all by myself to prove how tough I was....those are the times when I was most afraid when I put up my guard because I was afraid of getting hurt....i pushed the people away that loved me the most, and would never hurt me if there are times that I seem distant...please don't leave me alone,,,these are the times when I am most lonely If I ever ask you to give me space...make sure that space is big enough for you too; I know for certain, without a doubt that I could not be without you through all of my soul searching, mind boggling, good and bad times; it appears to me that......... being an adult means that you can only depend on yourself......that your battles are your own.....feeling loved and respected are luxuries....no truths are said in fear of what “others” might think, and......what you say is not what you mean and what you mean is not what you say. If I cannot lean on my family and friends in times of need....or....know without a doubt that someone besides me is looking out for me......or.......be loved and respected everyday of my life.....or.....know that honesty is the one thing I can count on.....or......be myself without having to justify who I am......or.....be content and at peace with my life and the decisions I make..... if I cannot at least hold onto these few things when I cross over and become an adult....then I think its safe to say........I DONT WANT TO GROW UP.....but in reality to grow up is what we all need to do. Maybe if I do grow up I'll be kid funny too