Leana Leal Poet Free verse

I do not love you

I don't love you

We can say I don't know you
We can say I haven't given you a chance
We can say that maybe love will grow if we are patient 
We can say there is hope 

But as of now, I don't love you
What we can't say is that I don't know what love is
I know what love is
I know that feeling of saying I adore you and it not feeling like what you mean 
I know what it's like to look into their eyes and say I miss you even though they're not going anywhere
I know what it's like to watch their mouth say words you can't hear because you just long for those lips to be against yours
I know what it's like to laugh with a person and instantly want their body against yours

I know what love is 
I have felt it
I have denied it
I have challenged it 
I have mourned it 
And yet I long for it 

I wish I loved you 
But love does not come when it is summoned
Love is not something that will arrive in the mail in 5-10 business days 
Love does not listen to reason and timing 
In fact, it's incredibly inconvenient and sometimes a burden 

When I look at you, I see a friend
I see the hope in your eyes and it makes me want to be hopeful too
I see that you long for me to fulfill your fantasy 
And for moments at a time perhaps we can pretend love is there 
But I am so sorry 

I do not love you

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