Tayah Oconnor Poet Rhyme

I do not know?

I think sexual assault can hold you on a rope,
tightening with every memory, every whispered “please let it go.”

I think making jokes out of my own scars
is how I learn to breathe beneath the stars.

I think holding onto something you know will never return
is like clutching smoke that your hands burn, but your heart will always yearn.

I think staring at the reflection of your phone,
seeing tears that aren’t your own,
teaches you grief has its own rhythm,
and loss leaves footprints in the corners of your eyes.

I think laughing while shadows linger at the edge of sight,
is a truth too sharp to deny.

But if I’m being honest, I don’t think anyone ever really dies, they hide in corners, in whispers, and in lullabies.

I think the things that are real will always find a way back to you,
like soft pieces of sunlight sneaking through a cracked window.

I think growing up in two different homes
makes you question which walls are really yours,
which floors will hold you without shaking,
which kitchens smell like comfort rather than a borrowed life, and how where you used to love going, has now turned into the house of a husband and wife.

I think growing up is strange,
because the idea of being permanently on my own
has always been a quiet, growing fear,
it sits behind my ribs like a restless animal, waiting for that certain time of the year.

I think when the sun dips low,
when the dark begins to swallow everything you know,

the smallest interactions, a smile, a word, a hand reaching for yours, 
can ignite a spark so bright it hums beneath your skin.

I think this paragraph is raw,
but it’s what I saw,
what I felt,
what I couldn’t tell anyone without seeing what cards I had just dealt.

I think it’s rough,
but maybe this is what growing up really is,
a collection of the number 2, and of any miracles sleeping beneath the dim light, 

of laughter ringing through the hollows of old pain,
of shadows dancing alongside the night.

Some of these lines you may never fully see,
but as I said from the start, these are just my thoughts,
and now, you’ve just lived every single one with me.

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Susan Ashley November 6, 2025 at 7:52 AM Dear Tayah, congratulations for your success in Mark’s contest with your intimate, potent and poignant poem. The emotions expressed are palpable in my heart and soul. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Mark Toney October 29, 2025 at 1:12 PM Tayah, your powerful poem is raw and honest as it explores trauma, loss, and healing. Your repeated use of “I think” allows the reader to feel a part of the narrative, as confirmed by the last stanza, “… these are just my thoughts, and now, you’ve just lived every single one with me.” A Fav poem for me. Congratulations on your top 10 win on Mile 24 of my 2025 Poetry Marathon Contest. Keep your running shoes on, because Mile 25 has already started. Only 2 more miles to go before the Qualifiers’ Final Placement contest!