Notes About The Poem
This ode belongs to me... not to anyone, or for anyone else, it is my song. It is my story. I am sure however, that it is applicable to the stories many adoptive mothers or parents. You take a chance being mom to children you only birthed in heart and soul and not bodily. What happens in stories like mine, is never the same good or bad. But what happens belongs to you. You own it whether you want it or not; because you gave a part of yourself that wasn’t meant to eventually give you what some get in return... because it is asked for back.
Whether or not it should have or shouldn’t have been, it sometimes is; and though it would mean the tearing away as if my very own flesh was, it had to be done. For the hopeful saving of everything and everyone, it had to be done. I was called a fool, but I know the reason I did what I did. It was all for love. I could only hope for a brighter day that never happened in this life; but in the day that I go home to glory, my God in heaven who knows my side of the story, will restore the loss of the part of me that disappeared.
I Disappear
I DISAPPEAR
My little birds, my loves forever,
the day dawns on our time together,
Your shading tree from stormy weather,
Til torrent winds lifted your little feathers,
The storms are gone now,
You're on your own now,
I fade away, disappear.
Wings like that on winged horses, a unicorn,
healing all the placesbthat were torn.
A day of true love, when our day was born.
Your spirits to nurture, love adorned.
Your glory's, wild now,
no longer a child now,
I fade away, disappear.
Beautiful dreamers, one , two, and three,
Just a dream to you, but not unto me.
A painting of a new reality,
Myself in the painting, would never be.
The story's done now,
the song is sung now,
I fade away, disappear.
A mother's love never dies,
not even a care how her heart cries,
like a rose’s thorns, the prick despised.
Through the tangles one day, love realized,
The tides are drawn now,
to where they've gone now,
I fade away, disappear.
Your beauty shown now,
to none belong now,
I fade away, disappear.
A different home now,
what was there, is now gone,
faded away, I’ve disappeared.
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