I Bring Out the Worst In Me

I've got a bottle in my lap That painted this pretty face I hate this mask Where did all of this baggage come from? I never begged or asked Please just f*cking take it back I must've acquired it when I fell off course Now I'm in a panic and breathing heavy As I'm trying to make my way back on track I slammed a suitcase in fit of rage Now all of my sh*t is tossed around all over the place Everyone is stumbling over all of my loose ends Jumping over bodies of all my dead friends And, the people that walked away Are now standing scattered like ashes throughout the race I'm coughing and heaving Didn't really think today I'd be deep cleaning Or airing out my dirty clothes So I turned and ran the other way I found myself still sitting In the same old chair I was the night before Same old bottle in my grasp held tight Thinking if I should take a drive All the way to the other side of town And, pick up something that would let everybody down It's not sad to say That's how my world works I've learned to accept it But, what I fear the most Is if this will be my final toast Will I get to say Good Bye? Or tuck my daughter in at night? Take another pull And, try to think of something else to realize To talk myself out of making that f*cking drive I turned and asked for help Turns out I was already by myself