Notes About The Poem

For Contest: I Breathe

Sponsor: Ink Empress

17 November 2024
------------------------------------------------

 

I Breathe

I breathe; I think; I slumber and I wake
I feel; I hear; I scream for pity’s sake
I push; I shove with little left to give
But six feet neath new fallen leaves, I live

I breathe the fumes of my putrefaction 
As I lie cramped with limited action
I hear the sound of my life below ground
Six hundred years worth of worms slinking round

I feel the splinters of oak ’neath my nails 
Each - one less day till persistence prevails
I sense that I shall enjoy the night soon
And be undead by the light of my moon

And now, there it is; the smell of the night
Your silver glint in the sky gives me flight
Those who interred me are many years dead
Their progeny live; and I must be fed

Shall any man notice your renewed glee
Your moonlight to them is daylight to me
I knew you were waiting, o light of mine
For we are coupled by ancient design

Warm me, my moon, my midnight accomplice
Restore my flesh; we’ve much to accomplish
Descendants of men who left you to grieve
Shall scream in the night when they hear me breathe
Copyright © | Year Posted 2024


Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 1/10/2025 12:41:00 AM
Hey Terry I just came across this just now and I love it. A POE-m in my book. Such great imagery and atmosphere. Nice one. Cheers - Gary
Login to Reply
Flood Avatar
Terry Flood
Date: 1/10/2025 3:23:00 PM
I’m always a little chuffed when an old(ish) poem gets some attention as they most often seem to fall off the edge of the world. so I’m chuffed that you found this and delighted that you enjoyed it. My head’s a bit of a vacuum right now; plenty of writes going nowhere but nothing concrete to share. So thanks for the Poe comparison, Gary… I’m suitably flattered ;-)
Date: 11/29/2024 5:30:00 PM
Congratulations Terry! I'm glad to see your captivating poem placed in Inks contest. Well done my friend :-)
Login to Reply
Flood Avatar
Terry Flood
Date: 12/1/2024 12:01:00 PM
Thanks, Anne. Appreciated
Date: 11/29/2024 3:50:00 AM
Dear Terry, i loved reading this and the way youv expressed throughout in such creative ways really stood out for me: especially the way youv written “ I sense that I shall enjoy the night soon And be undead by the light of my moon“ as someone that loves the moon those lines resonated and more! “ Warm me, my moon, my midnight accomplice Restore my flesh; we’ve much to accomplish” just so very beautiful!!! Love that ending. Your use of nature to depict your thoughts is what makes this worthy of a win! Thank you for sharing: congratulations on your win.
Login to Reply
Flood Avatar
Terry Flood
Date: 12/1/2024 11:59:00 AM
Thank you. Wasn’t sure it was what you were looking for, so I’m chuffed with a placement. Terry
Date: 11/21/2024 3:53:00 AM
This is such a cool write, Terry. I just wanted to read more (lol) Awesome my friend. Best wishes in the contest. Cheers Charlie
Login to Reply
Flood Avatar
Terry Flood
Date: 11/21/2024 2:42:00 PM
Thanks, Charlie. Cool AND awesome… dare I ask for more. Much appreciated. Terry
Date: 11/20/2024 2:02:00 PM
I wrote a great comment earlier and then it wouldn’t post. Hopefully this one will. This write is bonechillingly haunting! Those kin best run where the beast can’t find them, but I think he might… Fave!
Login to Reply
Flood Avatar
Terry Flood
Date: 11/20/2024 2:46:00 PM
Glad you enjoyed so much, Kim. And a fave is always a welcome pat on the back. Much appreciated. Terry
Date: 11/20/2024 12:23:00 PM
Hi Terry. Another enjoyable read for me today and the last stanza was the perfect bone chilling ending to your well crafted story :-) Have you seen the TV series "A discovery of Witches?
Login to Reply
Flood Avatar
Terry Flood
Date: 11/20/2024 2:44:00 PM
Oops, sorry, not sure about ‘A discovery of witches’, I do a bit of googling..,
Flood Avatar
Terry Flood
Date: 11/20/2024 2:43:00 PM
Thank you, Anne. It does seem that I may have fallen into the same trap as you regarding the ‘third word’. I was too late to change mine as the contest is closed. I do feel there was room for interpretation, so we’ll wait and see ;-)
Date: 11/20/2024 10:50:00 AM
this is a really good poem, Terry, especially kind of creepy , good for Halloween! I am seeing others like you writing I Breate for the title. But go look at Ink's rules again. She wants you to write about a noun such as I Breate Poetry/ I breathe happiness, etc. Hope people notice this!
Login to Reply
Flood Avatar
Terry Flood
Date: 11/20/2024 11:23:00 AM
Thanks for the heads up, Andrea. Thought I’d look into the possibility of adapting this. Alas, I see the contest is closed, so I’ll take my chances, as I have no way of knowing if Inky has already read it. Glad you enjoyed, nonetheless.
Date: 11/20/2024 9:29:00 AM
A brilliant write Terry….you do serious and dark well also my FF…..Debx
Login to Reply
Flood Avatar
Terry Flood
Date: 11/20/2024 11:27:00 AM
Thanks, Deb. Seems I might have misinterpreted the requirements, so I might be in line for an NA to add to my collection. C’est la vie ;-)
Date: 11/18/2024 9:05:00 PM
Rx: 'Halloween Hangover!' Extreme candy-eating recommended for 48 hours. That should do the trick, Slick!... Seriously, another masterpiece, Terry! Thanks, gw
Login to Reply
Flood Avatar
Terry Flood
Date: 11/19/2024 2:52:00 PM
I’ll settle for ‘masterpiece’ GW. Thanks. I’m off to the candy store ;-)
Date: 11/17/2024 10:53:00 AM
I enjoyed reading your wonderful "I Breathe" write. "Good Luck"  Have a blessed day writing away.................
Login to Reply
Flood Avatar
Terry Flood
Date: 11/19/2024 2:44:00 PM
Thanks, Paula. Not sure Inky was looking for spooky, but I don’t do hearts and flowers ;-)
Get a Premium Membership
Get more exposure for your poetry and more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Reflection on the Important Things

Member Area

My Admin
Profile and Settings
Edit My Poems
Edit My Quotes
Edit My Short Stories
Edit My Articles
My Comments Inboxes
My Comments Outboxes
Soup Mail
Poetry Contests
Contest Results/Status
Followers
Poems of Poets I Follow
Friend Builder

Soup Social

Poetry Forum
New/Upcoming Features
The Wall
Soup Facebook Page
Who is Online
Link to Us

Member Poems

Poems - Top 100 New
Poems - Top 100 All-Time
Poems - Best
Poems - by Topic
Poems - New (All)
Poems - New (PM)
Poems - New by Poet
Poems - Read
Poems - Unread

Member Poets

Poets - Best New
Poets - New
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems Recent
Poets - Top 100 Community
Poets - Top 100 Contest

Famous Poems

Famous Poems - African American
Famous Poems - Best
Famous Poems - Classical
Famous Poems - English
Famous Poems - Haiku
Famous Poems - Love
Famous Poems - Short
Famous Poems - Top 100

Famous Poets

Famous Poets - Living
Famous Poets - Most Popular
Famous Poets - Top 100
Famous Poets - Best
Famous Poets - Women
Famous Poets - African American
Famous Poets - Beat
Famous Poets - Cinquain
Famous Poets - Classical
Famous Poets - English
Famous Poets - Haiku
Famous Poets - Hindi
Famous Poets - Jewish
Famous Poets - Love
Famous Poets - Metaphysical
Famous Poets - Modern
Famous Poets - Punjabi
Famous Poets - Romantic
Famous Poets - Spanish
Famous Poets - Suicidal
Famous Poets - Urdu
Famous Poets - War

Poetry Resources

Anagrams
Bible
Book Store
Character Counter
Cliché Finder
Poetry Clichés
Common Words
Copyright Information
Grammar
Grammar Checker
Homonym
Homophones
How to Write a Poem
Lyrics
Love Poem Generator
New Poetic Forms
Plagiarism Checker
Poetry Art
Publishing
Random Word Generator
Spell Checker
What is Good Poetry?
Word Counter