I Blamed You

Poet: Ken Jordan Poem: I Blamed You Edited by: Sparkle Jordan written: June/2014 I have blamed you - for the bad choice's that I've made - I've blamed you - when  I get upset, and turn into a fiery rage - Without peace in my heart, life has been like a volcano, I boil and explode - I've blamed you, for my mental madness - I say, "You made  me  this way!" Yeah! I say, "You make me do  the bad things I do." I know when I say these things, that it's far from the truth - I just don't want to admit to the wrong I've  done - But after it's been  said, and  the smoke has cleared - I know that you're not the one to blame - I feel guilty  for  the things I've said and  done in the heat of rage - I can't take those words back, or the heartache  I've cost - God, is our  only healer and through forgiveness, God,  will heal our pain - It's going to  require continuous  work on myself..... to stay in balance with my heart - and to be patient, not to re-act  through the rain and storm - otherwise, I know that anger will  return - It's a vicious circle - and the  very moment that I feel it  conjuring  up inside of me, I'm gonna say: "Not today!.... not today! you will not instigate  your rage, to overcome me - I know  the truth - a lie can't stand in the light - I want you to know, you are my rock, I must honor and respect you  always - Got to ground myself, and work for peace, wellness  is the  key - From now forward, I pray for my release, from  blame, guilt, and  shame -